Haircut

I told her when school was out she had to get her haircut and lose the hat so we could go swim a lot. She did it. She does not like it but I think she will once she gets used to it. It sure looks better than the hat!! Then I tried to make her get her ears pierced. I thought she wanted to but then chickened out after they pierced one ear...grrrrrrrrrrr so I had to pay $16 for nothing. grrrrrrrr I do hate wasting money!!!

She is not pulling her hair off her head but is pulling her hair off her arms and legs. Therapist is working with her on that. At least it is not as noticable and disturbing as the head. Soooooo, I'm back to reading the book again.

She's a winner

Girlfriend racked up at Awards Day this week and got four trophies. We are proud. Andddddddd she only missed one question on the entire math portion of the standardized test. She is a smartie.

She has been much better this week. Therapist thinks she has some severe respect issues and it is now not mine and Gary's fault but Amber and Toby's. I guess it has to be someone's fault.

I personally think she is just wired differently than most. Chemical imbalance I think they call it. But the meds are not working.

But this week she has been fine and we are so thankful!!! :)

Feeling better

Jade went to Toby's Friday and Sat and I spent a day at Amber's. Being with the grands ALWAYS cheers me up. It was a fun relaxing time. I think one of the most wonderful sounds in the world is waking up and hearing babies coo. Zoee coos a lot.

I think having a 24 hour break helped and she has been better since we got back. Her therapist apparently had a strong meeting with her and told me things should improve and now wants to see her every week instead of every other week until she goes to camp.

This is the last week of school and then things won't be so hectic and HOPEFULLY that will help...but all in all I am feeling better.

I'm tired

Jade's ODD is rearing it's ugly head mostly toward me. It's been coming for weeks. She argues about everything. Gary has had to take over most dealing with her because of the arguing. I am counting down the days when she goes to camp and then home for a month and maybe for good.

It is so weird, at first she wouldn't mind Gary. She wouldn't argue with him but she just wouldn't mind him. Now that she argues with me so much that he's had to become the heavy and she minds him better. He says she ropes me into arguments too easy and I don't see it coming. I think it's because I'm so tired. And he has a lot of stress on him and I don't know how long he'll be able to keep up this strong arm.

She did score out the top of her standardized tests. Maybe it is that fine line between guiness (how do you spell that????) and madness.

My school has so reached out to her. She's been asked to help serve at the 5th grade awards day and to be on school announcements next year. I feel like we've given her a good 6 months with many wonderful experiences.

But her problems may be more than we can handle. As I told her yesterday, "I can't work with kids all day, and then put up with a smart assed kid at home too. It's making me much less patient at school and my kids don't deserve that. Plus I got Greg raised, I did my time in raising a smart assed kid and don't relish doing it again.

Fortunately, the school year is almost over and she's going to camp for two weeks and then home for a month.

If it is God's will for her to come back then we will recharge our batteries during this time and will know it. If not, que sera sera. We tried.

Fun Saturday

We had to run to our favorite junk store for some prizes for my classroom. Then we went to the Dollar Store and went to Sam's. Jade had never been to Sam's so didn't know about the free food samples. She LOVED them. Then ran to Michaels to see if they had any good sales, they didn't. But it was a fun day.

Suspended

One of Jade's friends was bothering her at recess Thursday so she slapped him. Our school has a big no tolerance for violence policy and she got suspended for one day. I was worried it was her old anger issues raring their ugly heads but this was a friend of hers not someone she was furious with.

Then I found out a niece of mine also hit a boy who was bothering a friend of hers so I don't feel quite so bad. Could be spring fever???

Am trying to figure out what to do with her in July. I was hoping she could go home for a month and give Gary and me a much needed break but the therapist thinks that would be way too long since they haven't gotten into family therapy or anything. I had already signed her up for two camps in June so don't know what to do in July now. Am pondering.

Eggs

Jade dyed Easter Eggs and we made resurrection cookies last night. Look how nicely her hair is growing out. We've been trying to talk her into cutting off the long part or at least doing away with the hat but she just isn't ready yet.

We also got her paperwork this week that she will start the gifted program next week at school. So smart, just like her mom, with just as many hang ups as her mom had if not more.

Easter

Jade decorated four cakes for the church Easter Egg Hunt. She worked really hard of them and they looked soooo cute. My camera is broken so I'm not sure how these pix will turn out.

Spring Break

We went camping at a lake near Augusta, Ga. We had so much fun. Jade LOVED the freedom of riding her bike all around and made a lot of new friends.

Her attitude has completely changed since we've gotten back and she is now "Happy Jade" again.

I've been wondering how long it would take to change her personality to where when she does go back home she will be "Happy Jade" and not "Angry Jade". She has treated Amber and Toby like dirt for so long I wonder how long it would take for her to change that if it can be done. If you live in an environment where you MUST treat adults with respect, how long, if ever, would it sink into the subconscious to treat your parents with respect too???

Media festival winner!!

Her photography club entered a media festival and won first place!!! They made a powerpoint about preparing for standardized testing.

Observations

She had seemed to have changed really ever since her dad left last weekend. She seemed more subdued and sorta sad. Even when her friend spent the night she just sorta seemed a little gloomier than before. I was thinking that the depression she had developed last fall in SC was beginning.

Then today, lo and behold, old Jade is back. She set the table and chatted nonstop and was happy as could be.

She has a bad cold and maybe she was just feeling "under the weather" earlier??? Praising God it isn't depression.

Awana Grand Prix Winner

Grandpa helped her make a truck for her Awana (kid's Bible Study group) Grand Prix. They had the race and she won first place for design and second place for speed!! Woo Hoo!!

She's a writer

She had a friend spend the night Friday night. I took them skating yesterday. Her friend fell and cometofindout maybe broke her arm. Here is Jade's get well letter to her. Just like her great grandmother is and her mother always was, she is quite the gifted writer. Oh Poo it is not letting me copy and paste it but she truly writes from the heart and it is soupy sweet. Amazing.

This week her photography club is participating in a Media Festival. Somehow they have taken photos and created a powerpoint about our big state test. I've never been to a media festival before so I am excited to see one.

Steel Magnolias

I was watching it and told Jade I needed to use the computer. She asked what I was watching. I said, "Steel Magnolias." She asked what it was about. I said, "Southern Women." After I played on the puter an hour I went back in the den and she in fact was still watching it. Is she a true Southern Belle or what??? Funny girl!!

Wiz

Jade was in the Wiz play at school Thurs. night. Her dad Toby came to see her in it and stayed until Saturday. She was so glad to have him come visit. They were so cute to see together. But she really has a smart mouth around him which is very sad to see. The counselor has her work cut out for her.

Of course, she was very sad when he left. She said she was going to call her friend who would help her. I said, "Help you what?" She said, "You know, help me cry." It broke my heart.

She is still sorta blue but getting better.

A teeny tiny breakthrough???? It's a start.

We have been trying to work with Jade on her mouth. She is just like some others and just says whatever she thinks without thinking it through how it sounds. "It's not what you say, but how you say it." As my mom used to say and I am saying over and over and over.

Last night she was making coleslaw :) as I washed dishes. She was mad because her friend couldn't come over so we weren't talking much. She opened the refrigerator and something inside it? really ticked her off. She said, "Do you always have to.....I'm not going to say it." I have NO idea what ticked her off but she stopped herself even though she was mad and FINALLY for once realized that lashing out and spewing off at the mouth is NOT always the best thing to do when mad.

I have No idea what made her mad but was so proud of her for not saying it. I know her personality will not change but it is a baby step in the right direction!! :)

It is official

Gary and I went after school today and got "sworn" in. We are now Jade's legal temporary guardians. We had to raise our right hand and everything. We have to let them know once a year how she is and if we move and everything. In GA they take legal guardianship very seriously!!

This morning

When I went to wake her up, on her bed lay her Bible and Devotional book. It is so amazing to me that she chooses to read them on her own every night. We read them together on school nights but she reads them by herself on weekend nights. I have to believe that God is really working in her young life. I also ordered her some Christian hip hop cds to listen to on the way to school each morning.

She's a winner!!

Jade participated in the county Science Olympiad today and won third place in her event which was Name the Scientist.

Good few days!!

Monday we went to visit an aunt in a town about 30 miles from here. She started right off after school being a smart alleck so I just quit talking to her period. I didn't even let her say the blessing when we stopped for supper. I told her to say her own silently. We ate in complete silence. After we visited my aunt she seemed to feel better. I think her helping others really helps her. Does that make sense? Anyway, she seems to enjoy visiting the aunts and her mood has improved. She's been in a better mood ever since. Who can figure?

Somewhat rough weekend

Not one of the best we've had. Jade has been whiney and knowitally and sassy most of the weekend. Gary blew up at her Friday night and I did Saturday. Sometimes it is just more than we can take and we blow. She started it at church again this morning and I'd decided she'd just spend the entire afternoon in her room thinking about how she is supposed to talk to us (and all adults). Wellllllllll, while we were at church it started snowing and she was just beside herself. The old Jade was back and we had a great day. We made snowmen and drank hot cocoa and had a fun day. She fixed supper for us tonight.

A sweet thing she did do though in spite of it all. I don't read her her devotionals on the weekend nights cause it's usually late when she goes to bed and just not at structured as the weeknights. Last night I heard her reading her Bible and Devo by herself. It was very sweet.

Another cute thing in spite of her attitude was we went Easter Dress shopping at the mall yesterday. I had a gift card from Penneys. She picked out about 7 to try on and LOVED trying them on. I was glad that she still picked some really cute dresses and not all "tween" style dresses to try on. It was a hard decision but she did finally pick one of the 7. It was fun.

Psychiatrist

We found a child psychiatrist near here so Jade could get her meds. She told the dr all about her problems and diagnoses. I thought it was sorta funny, the dr asked her about her "fits". She told her that she screamed and threw things. The dr asked her about her not throwing them at our house and she said, "NO!! She is mean" (talking about me) "She has a really big paddle." The funny thing is that I haven't paddled Jade since she was 5...but apparently she remembered!! She is such a hoot.

Thank you all

Prayer is the reason Jade has done so well and I'm giving God and all of your prayers the glory. Thank you all so much.

Something had to give

We've decided to give up Girl Scouts. I'm sorta sad since I did so love Girl Scouts and wanted Jade to too. But she is just so busy with her after school activities and therapist appts. She loves her nights home to vege out and we need more of them.

Home again

Jade and I went to SC over the weekend since this is our winter break. I was worried that she wouldn't want to come back and she was a little sad when we left but not near as bad as I thought she might be. She seemed to enjoy visiting everyone. Her hair has grown out so much and everyone was so glad to see that. Her dad said he loved watching her watch TV and not pull her hair.

Chef Jade

We got some kid's cookbooks and Jade cooked our supper last night. She made quesadila (spel?) pizzas all by herself. They were very yummy. Tonight she is doing a sign language dance at PTA and is very excited about it. Tomorrow we are going to SC for a long weekend. I pray after the weekend there she doesn't cry all the way back to GA. She misses her parents.

Better

Sunday was much better. I think it all has to do with routine. We're back on routine. We did have company for lunch and Jade does love to act charming so she was quite charming for the guest. I did have to remind her to say Yes Ma'am a few times but she is doing much better eating with her mouth closed...baby steps here!! She also had a friend from church come visit and they played very nicely.

I asked her last week if she thought she needed her sleep meds again. I don't love giving a kid chemicals but her therapist had said if she needs them she needs them. When I asked Jade she said she thought she did need them on week nights. So I conferred with my advisors (teachers.net teachers) and they all thought that if she thought she needed them, and the therapist thought it was ok then to give them to her. So I did, and boy did they work fast. She didn't even read in bed after we did our bedtime devos and story.

This week

We had a death in the family so this was not a normal week and was highly stressful for everyone. By yesterday Jade had about had it. And I forgot to give her her meds Thurs so that didn't help.We are certainly coming to realize how much her having structure is helping her. After a week of no structure and lots of stress she was at her wit's end by last night. She wasn't terrible just could tell she was at her wit's end.

When she is like that she takes it out on Grandpa...grrrrrrrrr. He kids with her like he always does the little kids and her being a tween doesn't care for it in the first place and takes out her snippyness on him when he tries to kid with her and then when he just tries to talk to her etc. Since he just lost his daughter this week he certainly doesn't need a 10 year old taking out her frustrations on him.

I pray that next week getting back on schedule and remembering to take meds everyday will prove to be a better week all around.

Sweet things

Last night we all watched To Kill a Mockingbird. Jade LOVED it. She may be becoming an old movie buff like we are!!! Of course there being kids in the movie didn't hurt!!!

Today she went to eat breakfast with Grandpa and the men's group. Several kids come. She brought me a plate and said she would always bring me a plate.

I can't remember if I mentioned that she acolyted last Sunday. She looked very sweet and really seemed to enjoy it.

Since she stayed up til 11:30 watching TKM she has been napping all afternoon.

Thanks so much for your prayers. I know that is what is getting her better!!!

Good week

We've had another good but busy week. There was no Girl Scouts on Thurs and we were secretly glad cause we LOVED a night when we could just vege out. What I've noticed about Jade is how happy she is. She isn't the angry girl she is sometimes. I just pray it will last after she does go back home. Here she is in a hat my cousin made for her. How darling is it?

Met with Therapist 2

Took DJP to meet with therapist Tues. The sessions last about 45 to 50 mins. She had me to watch a funny parenting video while they were in their session.

Jade really liked her and their session seemed to go well. They will meet once a week and I'll go have a short visit with Auntie while she is in her session. Then may take Jade back so she can have a short visit with Auntie afterward if time allows since they love each other so much!!!!

She gave me names of some other doctors should we need to get Jade on meds. We're working with her teacher to determine that.

Met with therapist

Gary and I met with therapist last night. We both really like her and pray that she will work well with DJP. DJ stayed with my aunt while we met with therapist and had a ball!!! Wants to come back to visit every week after therapy!! Therapist wants to meet with DJP weekly for 5 weeks and then meet with us again by ourselves. So far so good. She is going to give us the name of a psychiatrist so we can get DJP's meds regulated.

A bit of a run around

You remember I posted about ordering those expensive herbs for DJP to try and they came and the pills were so big she couldn't swallow them. Then when she finally did swallow them one got stuck in her esophogas and she gagged off and on for two hours til it finally dissolved. I gave her crackers and water to help "push" it down but it wouldn't go.

I called the Co that afternoon and told them there was no way I'd be able to get her to take 9 of these a day (which is what they were working her up to).

They said they had a powder form. I sent back all the bottles and asked them to switch for the powder. I was a little ticked that they wouldn't go ahead and send the powder since they had my debit card # from the order. If the others never arrived they could charge my debit card, but they wouldn't. So it took two weeks for the pills to get back to them.

Then they tell me they can't trade out the first bottle cause it's been opened...Helloooooooooo, I told them we had opened the bottle and tried to get her to take the first three pills when I called the very first time.

So a supervisor is looking into it and will get back tome Monday...grrrrrrrrr. These were expensive...grrrrrrrrrr.

In the meantime Amber sent me her meds that we'd forgotten to get. I will put her back on her ADHD meds Monday since her teacher said she does get quite antsy and unable to focus after lunch.

She also has sleeping pills but I HATE the thoughts of giving a kids sleeping pills you know. So for a while I'm going to keep her exercising outside, getting lots of fresh air and drinking hot milk everynight for a few more weeks and see how that goes.

Update

There hasn't been a lot to update this week. We go see new counselor Monday (Gary and I) and then Tuesday DJP starts.

She's had a good week. A visit with her cousin and a school friend MLK weekend then all her activities.

Gary's been in FL all week at a workshop thingy. He comes home today!!!

As soon as we get Amber's paperwork we'll go start the legal paperwork for guardianship. We have til Feb. 6. It's only supposed to take a few days to get once they have all their paperwork.

Thanks for all the prayers.

Decision made

I've thought of it all day and asked family and friends for input and the majority has said for me to follow my heart.

Soooooo, I've called back the therapist who wanted to see us in two weeks and asked her to let us know if she could still see us that day.

Had a fun day, DJP's cousin from SC is here visiting for the long weekend and we're having fun.

Went and got about DJP 4 church outfits and some church shoes so we're good until spring!!!

Thanks for all ya'll's input and prayers!!

New delimna

Went to the new behavioral place for an assessment yesterday.

DJP qualifies for this afternoon program, where they will pick her up and she'll have group and individual and art and play therapy. It will be every afternoon for 6 to 8 weeks.

The dilemma,

and it might sound silly,

but if DJP goes to the afternoon she'll have to give up all her dance, chorus, and photography classes which she is so loving. I tried to explain that going would help her get well sooner and she started crying and asked if she could get well going somewhere else and stay in her clubs?

I had imagined her going to a therapist once a week or I would've never gotten her involved in the clubs.

So now I'm trying to get input. When I called A to get her input she understood the dilemma and said that DJP hasn't loved anything or seemed as happy in a long time.

It's like my mind is saying "She needs this intensive therapy." but my heart is saying, "She loves her clubs and is thriving."

What to do, what to do? Input please. and please pray that we make the right decision.

themcwhorters4@yahoo.com

new dr (hopefully)

My oh my. The "new" therapist recommended by the "old" therapist can't see us for two weeks and then wants to just see Gary and me to learn about djp's situation. So that would now make it at least three more weeks til djp saw a therapist.

Soooooo, I called the therapist my friend recommended and wouldn't you know it, she isn't accepting any new patients.

djp's teacher told me about a behavioral hospital in carolton with therapists even closer that was real good. So I emailed them and they immediately called me back and said she could come for an eval tomorrow night.

So please pray this one will work out!!!

djp started girl scouts tonight. She is in a jr. troop at our church. They are planning Thinking Day right now and already have a camping trip planned for March so Jade is very fired up!! I went to Bible Study at the church while she was there. It is a Bible Study on hard sayings in the Bible and is so interesting and fun. The people in the class are very funny.

Changes

The therapist called today and suggested another therapist since djp had more problems than just trich. A friend had also suggested one she said was the very best. Sooooooo we are going feel both out and see which one is the best "fit" for djp.

Her teacher told me today how sweet and polite she was!! We are loving this honeymoon period!!!

Schedule

In my mind I feel like we are going to have her for six months. Gary keeps telling me that we really have no earthly idea how long she will be here but that is what I'm thinking in my mind. So it's like I'm trying to cram a wonderful childhood into those six months. Fortunately most of her activities are at school. Here is her schedule:

Sunday, Church, Awana on Sun Nights
Monday, dance then we go visit elderly relatives
Tuesday, photography club
Wed. Dance
Thurs. Chorus (and we're going to try her going to our Bible Study with us this week, she liked UMW so well we thought we'd give Bible Study a try.
Friday. (sees therapist this week)
Sat. Fun day, work at animal shelter, skating, errands, etc.

I know it may sound way too busy but she is loving it and I figure the busier we can keep her the better.

Houston we have a problem

DJP's homeopathic meds came this week. We were to start with 3 one day, then 6 the next and then 9 from then on. Welllllll, they were horse pills and she just could not get them to go down. She finally got three down but one got stuck between her throat and stomach and it took hours for her to not be nauseous (spel?). She ate peanuts and crackers (some hard stuff) and drank lots of water to try to "push" it down but it wouldn't go.

When I called the Co. they said they had it in powder form so I had to ship her meds back and now am waiting for the powder.

A lady who works at the church daycare's daughter has trich and she gave Gary a book about it. It is sooooooo interesting. There are so many different forms of it. So far it hasn't mentioned anything about it going with rage issues so that may be a total other problem.

We went this weekend and got tap shoes and ballet shoes and a leotard for dance. She is soooooooo excited about taking dance.

I got her some boots at Claire's when we were in Commerce and they were too small. We took them back to a Claire's in Douglasville and got her a new pair Tuesday. She wore them to school Wed - Friday and now the bottom of them is coming apart...after 3 days!!! Grrrrrrrr. Last night we went to four different Claire's looking for some just like them to exchange...but all the Claire's have sold out...so Grandpa is going to try to glue them back together...grrrrrrrrrr. Regular priced they would've been $28 boots...and they lasted three days...grrrrrrrrr.

Some neat things about her: She is loving (so far) being on a strict schedule. She LOVES reading her devotional book and manners book and asking Grandpa questions about God. She went to UMW with me yesterday and LOVED it, and the old women loved having her there. She is a neat kid...especially during this honeymoon period.

She issssssssss however very much a knowitall and I have to pray for God to hold my tongue and not say anything many many times a day. I know to choose battles and goodness knows I had lots of practice with Greg. But just like I did with Greg, I think, "How can you be 10 and know every single thing????"

Please keep the prayers coming, so far so good.

First Thursday

DJP went to chorus after school today and had a great time. Then we had to go get a chicken pox shot...not so great a time. We had hoped to sign her up for Girl Scouts tonight but the troop we thought met at church was not a junior troop so I've emailed the council and asked about a troop in this area.

Her "herbs" came in and we plan to start them tomorrow.

First Day of School

DJP had her first day of school at her new school. She did very well and her teacher spoke of how smart she was!! Then after school she went to science club and the dance team. Now we have to go and look for ballet and tap shoes and a leotard. She also wants to join the chorus.

Today we have to go get another chicken pox shot. They require two in GA and only one in SC. She is dreading it terribly.

She gets very antsy about 5 each evening (Gary calls it her hyper time) and cries for her dad every night for about 20 minutes, and then stops and is fine. So interesting. I told her to pretend it was the summer and she was staying with us...she never cried them. She said that her dad told her the same thing but this just feels different.

Thanks for the prayers.

Sunday

She still has friends she made when we moved last summer so she immediately rekindled those friendships at church today.

We had a funeral today and she was the only child at the dinner afterwards so she seems to be the church grandchild and everyone was making over her.

I took her to a Baptist church tonight to join AWANA (Children's Bible club thingy). Greg went to one when he was a boy and loved it. She went right in and made some friends right away so we feel that will be real good for her.

I read on the rage website how important exercise is for her so she and I went and played in the church gym for about an hour this afternoon.

The website also talked about how important a good diet is...so we will have to work on that...for all of us!!!

Tomorrow I will go and register her for school during my lunch break.

We met with her therapist Wed. She is very nice and we really liked her. J will see her next Friday.

Please pray that they can schedule afternoon appts for her. The therapist's schedule is pretty full. If I have to take off work I certainly will but it would sure help if we could get as many after school as we can.

She's here!!!

I picked her up yesterday at 2. We made a quick trip to visit family in SC who I had not seen enough of over the holidays. Visit was too short but fun!!

I've done a ton of research on kids with rage and how sad that there are so many and so many parents aren't getting much help.

I did read that several parents did get good results from this intensive vitamin, herb combo thingy so we are going to try that route right here at the beginning during the honeymoon phase. mytruehope.net

The way I see it, she has been on meds for two years and they really haven't helped a bit so we'll try this for a few months and give it a try. We can always go back to meds if we need to.

Since she is on psychiatric drugs we will have to wean her off and onto the vit/min thingy gradually which the folks there will help me with.

It's something we're going to try. Will keep you posted.

Prayer

Dear Lord, Please touch DJP and heal her. Please help her to know that You are always with her. Be with her counselor and guide her as she works with DJP and help DJP respond to her counseling and learn the skills she needs to be a happy successful person. Be with her teachers and help them try to understand her and teach her. Please guide us as her caretakers and help us to help her. Help us remember to turn to You first in all situations.

Life with Meme and Grandpa

Our darling granddaughter, 10, is coming Saturday to stay for a while with us. She needs treatment that she cannot get in rural SC.

We are nervous but happy. Happy that we can give her the life we gave to her mom and think all kids deserve but nervous because she does have so many problems.

Most of you who know me know that I LOVE a computer and thought blogging might help me organize my feelings and thoughts while she is here.Please feel free to send any comments and advice and especially prayers!!! We'll need all we can get!!!